Couples Therapy
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Looking to Improve Your Relationships?
Whether you’re newly dating or have been married for decades, relationships can be hard. At some point in your partnerships, you’ll likely experience:
- Being in one of the many possible stages of a relationship — dating, engaged, premarital, married, entering into parenthood, empty-nesting, separated, coparenting or divorced
- Being the parent of a child with violent tendencies, behavioral issues, trouble with peer relationships, difficulty in school, alcohol or drug use, or other issues
- Being a relationship in crisis
- Infidelity
- Communication issues
- Blended-family issues
- Learning how to resolve conflict
- We use the Gottman Method for Couples therapy as the basis for our treatment planning.
- The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.
Learn more about Gottman Method Couples Therapy here. Most of our CE courses and certification in Gottman Method Couples Therapy are also relevant in non-clinical settings for other professionals who work with couples.
See The Gottman Method in action and learn ways to apply it with your couples in practice with the Art and Science of Love.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Couples who enter into Gottman Method Couples Therapy begin with an assessment process that then informs the therapeutic framework and intervention.
Assessment
A conjoint session, followed by individual interviews with each partner are conducted. Couples complete questionnaires and then receive detailed feedback on their relationship.
Check out the online assessment tool the Gottman Relationship Checkup. Created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Affective Software, Inc., and The Gottman Institute, this online couples assessment tool automatically scores a relationship’s strengths and challenges and provides specific recommendations for intervention.
Therapeutic Framework
The couple and therapist decide on the frequency and duration of the sessions.Therapeutic Interventions
Interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and creation of shared meaning. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts. Interventions designed to increase closeness and intimacy are used to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection, and create changes which enhances the couples shared goals. Relapse prevention is also addressed.
Video Resource
Buy the poster version here.
Build Love Maps
How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?
Share Fondness and Admiration
The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)
Turn Towards Instead of Away
State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and respond to (turn towards) them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.
The Positive Perspective
The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.
Manage Conflict
We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
Make Life Dreams Come True
Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.
Create Shared Meaning
Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.
Trust
This is the state that occurs when a person knows that his or her partner acts and thinks to maximize that person’s best interests and benefits, not just the partner’s own interests and benefits. In other words, this means, “my partner has my back and is there for me.”
Commitment
This means believing (and acting on the belief) that your relationship with this person is completely your lifelong journey, for better or for worse (meaning that if it gets worse you will both work to improve it). It implies cherishing your partner’s positive qualities and nurturing gratitude by comparing the partner favorably with real or imagined others, rather than trashing the partner by magnifying negative qualities, and nurturing resentment by comparing unfavorably with real or imagined others.
In his New York Times bestselling book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman writes, “Although you may feel your situation is unique, we have found that all marital conflicts fall into two categories: Either they can be resolved, or they are perpetual, which means they will be part of your lives forever, in some form or another.” Gottman says that 69% of marital conflicts are perpetual problems, and these are of particular focus in much of the work performed by Gottman-trained therapists.
The Gottman Method is designed to support couples across all economic, racial, sexual orientation, and cultural sectors. Outcome research has shown Gottman Method Couples Therapy to be effective for treating same-sex relationships.
Some of the relationship issues that may be addressed in therapy include:
Frequent conflict and arguments
Poor communication
Emotionally distanced couples on the verge of separation
Specific problems such as sexual difficulties, infidelity, money, and parenting
Even couples with “normal” levels of conflict may benefit from the Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Gottman-trained therapists aim to help couples build stronger relationships overall and healthier ways to cope with issues as they arise in the future. You can find a Gottman-trained therapist on the Gottman Referral Network.
Information used from the Gottman Website https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/
Improve your coping and communications skills
Learn conflict resolution skills
Bolster your interpersonal relationships
From newly married couples to empty nesters, each stage of life brings its own set of challenges and conflicts. I’ll collaborate with you during relationship therapy to help you and your family navigate your way through today’s challenges.